Back to the Scene of the Crime


Released May, 2016

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After 30 plus years, I had finally become consciously aware that the fragile state of my emotional health was due to a lifetime struggle with low self-esteem, dysfunctional relationship patterns, lack of self-love, and not knowing my worth or life’s purpose. I had spent the majority of my adulthood unaware of who I was at the core of my being and who I truly was as a child of God. I prided myself on my ability to move on from one relationship to another by proudly shouting “next!” with a smile and thinking I was in control of my situation when, all along, I’d been running from people, situations, circumstances, and my true identity. Who would have thought that someday, I would learn that my so called confidence in my ability to move forward would be revealed as masked insecurities? Ultimately, this pattern of dealing with issues and relationships put me in an invisible place of bondage. You will learn later that this was my way of coping with a lifetime of hurt, rejection, and disappointment. On the outside, I smiled and moved on to the next goal or relationship, but internally, I was creating my own horrible crime scene. Yes, you read it correctly – a crime scene! The evidence of this scene included symptoms of depression, broken pieces of my heart, unforgiveness, frustration, bitterness, jealousy, anger, a lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem and self-worth, anger, and health issues stemming from an unhealthy desire to be loved by man. God was now showing me that in order for me to become a vessel free for His use, I would have to go through a cleansing process and allow Him to take me back so He could uproot and destroy those things that had me bound. In essence, I had to go back to the scene of the crime. I was now the primary investigator in my own personal CSI (Crime Scene Investigation), and God was leading, guiding, and assisting me in being released from the things that had kept me in bondage for so many years.

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Weight .8 lbs


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